God's Favour in BGR Dating

God's Favour in BGR Dating

• 29 December 2020

p.s i love you

WHO COMES FIRST

december 29, 2020

who comes first is not even a question to me. God comes first, ultimately, he is the our maker and he knows us inside out. however, the toughest part is when our (clear) emotions take over...

1. Real Love

- If the person is a crush or eye candy, please forget him and move on to someone else. That's when I know I wasn't ready. I told myself if there's a guy that can last more than this phase, then it's really something! After all, I have pretty short attention span. You will need to also do the difficult task or separating what's real love and just fickle fleeting emotions. It's tough I know, but you both are in this for the long run.

Sometimes, I'm glad God didn't answer my prayers when I simply prayed "God I would like to be with XX"... because he probably knew XX isn't suitable for me. Only God knows.

Recognize that our hearts can deceive us. What we think is real may not really be real.
Jeremiah 17:9

So if our hearts are deceitful then how? Doomed? No! God has given us a community to help us decipher the truth. He speaks to you either directly, through your community or through signs. Watch out for them. In some churches or even within the life group, there's a term "accountability".

Accountability helps us distinguish what is real. It's a blessing to help us experience the favour of God. It is only natural to "selectively" tell non-church friends because we know that they will support us. The truth hurts sometimes, but don't take it to heart.

Remember, the heart is deceitful but we are stronger than that.

2. Safe Love

Rule #1 - Do not feel constantly insecure, neither should you feel "used". Same for any other friendship, courtship, marriage.

Remember, God is not here to restrict and kill joy but he wants us to experience every season of our

lives in all its fullness.

Ecclesiastes 3:11

One problem is that we are always pinning and awaiting the next season, "then we will be happy". Why not just enjoy the current season first! Including single hood. Single hood in fact, prepares you better for a relationship in the future. Just like any drama serial, you watch the current season so you can understand the next season (usually a continuation) better. If you jump from episode one to the last episode, how would you understand the show? Similarly, if you have done everything prior to marriage, then marriage there's nothing much to explore and enjoy during marriage (the end in itself) already. So in short, enjoy season appropriate things and know that for every season God has his purposes.

Recognize that we are weak and temptations are strong.

Romans 7:15

So how to refrain from temptations? Have boundaries! Boundaries keep us safe. In a relationship, decide boundaries together early! Decide beforehand what boundaries we plan to draw and stick to them no matter how we feel. Do not waver.

3. Long Lasting Love

Everyone wants this.

Dating is just a temporary season before marriage. If you want your dating to last till marriage, first, you must have marriage in mind. Make promises that you can keep. Don't make empty promises.

There are 2 parts to keeping a promise:

1) Intention to keep the promise
2) Ability to keep the promise (back up the promise)

Sin such as lust and other desires contaminate God's design for long lasting love.

God sent his son into the world that we may live through him

1 John 4:9-10

Remember, be in a committed relationship.