Down.
Sometimes I really am amazed by how the human mind works. Its like, when everything is perfect, we always try to find imperfections and try to blame something, someone for it. And when everything is going so wrong, we try to comfort ourselves and try to be optimistic in whichever circumstance we're in. And we always hold on to this string of hope...
Yes this string of hope gives us the drive to push on and hold on tight, but have it ever crossed your mind that if it breaks, it can crush your mind twice/thrice as hard?
Letting go is hard, even if it means letting go that lil' string of hope. Even to pronounce letting go, will you ever really let it go? Will you ever truly set yourself free?
I feel tired of trying to make sure everything's alright, trying not to be too lousy for anyone, trying to comfort everyone else but myself, trying to assure everyone else but not myself. I think its impossible to keep on this track.. For the past 2 days, I've been feeling really loved. And I really feel happy that someone actually truly cares about how I feel sometimes. If only I don't have to trade my heart for this kind of happiness..
Questions, questions, questionanoirs..
When will I stop feeling insecurity? When will I learn to accept happiness with my both hands? When will I learn how to reciprocate? When will I stop being paranoid? When will I love and not expect anything in return? When will I learn how to let go? When will I not be lousy for anyone? When will I allow myself to be loved? When will I stop punishing myself?
And I've only got one answer for you,
Thanks for loving me this much, you know you know.
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