turnin twentyone

turnin twentyone

• 02 December 2013

Growing up; what I would tell my adolescent self.

 

As I turn 21, I'm sitting here reflecting on my life all these years. when i was a kid, a part of me couldn't wait to grow up and do great things. i remembered when i was 12 i couldn’t wait to celebrate my (super) sweet 16. i remembered when i was 16 i couldn't wait to be 18. then came the twenties. Truth is, now that I'm growing up, a part of me wish I wasn't. all along, i was a self-planner. even when i was 12, i planned to be married by age twenty-five with kids. i thought of what an ideal husband is to me, how he would be like, how our wedding would be, oh and I even thought of my kids names, both genders yes. mind you, i was only 12. i’ll always smile to myself when i think about how time changes things. and when i celebrated my birthday every year, i would list a to-complete-by goal list.

it's just so funny that things don't really turn out how you planned it to be. here's when you start asking yourself the famous 5 Ws - who, what, why, which, where? time really flies, you are a year older just before you know it. you start going to your friends’ 21s parties, graduation ceremonies, and even weddings. suddenly you realize you’re at the exact age that seemed so far away just few years ago.

i’ve always liked including myself in the 20-something category. growing up, but not quite grown up. you’re (supposed to) be an adult, but a part of you knows that through age changes, you haven't really change much. still the same 18 and 21. sometimes, i myself can't imagine that i'm turning 21. it feels the same actually, i don't feel any special. it's just that 21st is a year to celebrate because it's apparently, the official legal age. and, I guess it's my last year throwing an official party.

i've always wanted to go to the airport, buy a plane ticket (no rational thinking involved), take any first flight (wherever it takes me to) out; begin an adventure. i want to get lost wandering on the streets, meet friendly strangers, make a perfect love story like how the movies are, travel the world and experience life in a new city. but back to reality, i guess i've done a lot of things i wanted to before turning 21. i've done skydiving, been away from home for more than a month, taken roadtrips, got my driving license, got myself into university, learnt how to cook and bake, am managing my business. it's time to say goodbye to all of the things that have kept me stagnant and vow to keep moving forward.

Honestly, age is just a number, date is just another day, and I do not feel like I'm older or more matured just by a day's difference.

 

Maturity

 

Truth is I've always thought I am more matured/sensible than my age. Even when I was 12, I started talking like a 21 year old. I spoke to adults confidently and could discuss issues with them. And, without a doubt, I attribute this gluing myself infront of TV shows, growing up with no other kids at home but instead, dinner conversations were mostly on adult life and probably the stock market, current issues and other things since my parents were both bankers back then. When I was watching TV dramas, my grandfather would tell me things like "You see that girl, she go pub leave her drinks there, so dangerous! Next time if you go clubbing remember not to drink the drink you left on the table cause people may drugged it" And, I was only 8years old. And of course, there's the typical love story, what marriage would be like if two people fight, should always give and take instead, etc. How to not learn from TV shows, you tell me! Next time I confirm let my kids watch drama and reality shows! (;

 

Independence

"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger"
I was never the kind of girl who fell in love silly-ly. Those who fell in and out of love, cry bucket of tears like the whole world has died because the guy meant the world to them, and the only reason being... 'cause he said he loved me'. I believe in love, but no, I'll never believe in those sort of temporal sweet nothings unless someone true to you really means what he says. I'm glad that I don't have to say things like 'I realised he wasn't the person for me'. Then again, I know... I've missed out on the young tender love periods, but that's okay because I know God protected me from them and he wants me to experience love in a right way, in his best timing! One thing for sure, I've always wanted a soulmate, one for life. I dare say I'm not your typical teenager who went though the rebellious phrase, in fact, I thought I was quite good-natured as a kid ^^. I don't smoke, drink, mix with the wrong crowd, something I'm thankful of. As I moved from Primary school till University, all along, my cliques of friends were very decent, we enjoyed each others presence and the rest is for us to look forward to.


Being 21, I've learnt many life lessons.

People will come and go.

 

Truth is, as much as I'm a sentimental person, not everyone else is. I can dwell on the past by flipping through handwritten cards and letters, look at old photos taken together, social media timeline, scroll through text messages, or songs that would remind me of some person place, or memory. but at the back of my mind, I would wonder about how come we aren't as close as before anymore, whether our dynamic could ever be the same again. In situations like this, I'm just blessed that our paths crossed and at least I had that great episode with that particular person stored in my memory. It's just a natural process in life.

You will learn more about what you want

 

Yes, as you grow older, you may have more issues to deal with. Sometimes, dealing with them alone. But, though it all, you will know more about yourself and what you want (and don't want) in a soulmate or in good friends. Just remember, don't ever settle for less than what you deserve, or else you'll get even less than what you settled for.

Love God, Love People

 

I've learnt to lead an others centre life. Because investing in building relationships are more eternal than anything else temporal in this world. For every second of my living breathe, I'm thankful for God, my family, my friends, my community and people that I've met. I may not have close bonds with every single one of you, but I thank God for placing you in my life. I treasure people around me because they are God's children and if God loves them, I should. Because, I love God. Love them while they're still alive because when they're gone, you'll regret not spending enough time with them or not appreciating them enough. Remember, it's the small things that count.

Be Grateful and Stay Thankful

 

Appreciate all the things that I'm blessed with, be it big or small. To be able to breathe or to wake up everyday in itself, is already something to be thankful for. I'm glad I've alive. I'm happy that I can feel happy. I'm glad to be here. I'm grateful for the laughter coming from the people I love in my life. When you constantly remind yourself what you're blessed with (instead of comparing with other people), you end up feeling happier and living a more fulfilling life.

Thankful for my little fairies for helping out.