so dearest, what's next?
It's in God's hand but I have to make the decisions myself right? But, the thing is, I can't even determine for myself the next step to take. In the secret recesses of my heart, I very much want to be like a little girl again, but this time, really to enjoy my life more at that stage plus can I like minus the part on school and exams. Not that I didn't enjoy myself... I remember telling myself then that I want to grow up but looking at now, growing up isn't much a choice, isit? Perhaps it's because life didn't turn out the way we imagine it to be, looking from TV, magazines and influences from people around us. We see how perfect their lives are thus we want to grow up. But once you have grown up and lead your own life and start realising it's different, that's when you want to be young and carefree again. Everyone has that thought before, I'm sure...
Soon, this time next year, I'd no longer fall under the 'Teenagers' category and I'd have two large candles on my cake. 1 big candle was enough. It's always like this. I think I'm influenced by the 'Western-isation' watching Teenage movies cause my standard definition of 'big girl' keeps changing when I turn that certain age cause I don't feel like it. When I was 12, I thought 16 considered big girl. And, when I was 16, I felt like 14 and I thought 18 considered big girl. Then, I turned 18. But I didn't feel like 18, so now I think 20's considered the standard. For now...
Yes, so I have been asking myself WHAT DO I WANT TO DO?
As always, I am a jack of all traits, master of none.
As always, I am a jack of all traits, master of none.
I've been to dance class, art class, organ & piano lessons, both eng n chinese speech & drama, & the list goes on... Never really found an exact calling, just as enthusiastic & interested in attending these lessons.
I'm finishing my diploma in a couple of months and I'm thinking where to head to. To the university (if so, local or overseas?), to travel or to start working? If I wasn't breed in Singapore or if someone would grant me a lifetime of promise I could do whatever I like, I would choose the latter. Honestly. We study so much for what? To secure a job right? So my rationale is IF you already have a job you love, why bother to study and kill more brain cells? Doesn't make sense. I don't care if the President or MOE sees this, but I have to say that Singapore's education system is too rigid and doesn't encourage the freedom of thought, as much as I would agree they are trying to alter the system now. But, hello! We are known for being like that, isn't it? Our education system no doubt is one of the best is the whole world although we are just a little red dot, but to me, it doesn't cater for all - One size doesn't fit all. It only works for students who are academically inclined. How about those mediocre ones, umm like me? Maths, Science, Econs? Nah. Not my cup of tea. I didn't do well in Secondary school, getting into the last express class (Phew!) and all my life, I'm just an average student. Only thank God, at least I did well for my O levels & had the 'power' to choose where to head to next. See, so to change the norm a little, even back in Secondary school, I took triple humanities whereas people take triple science. What's my rationale? Do something you like! I took Drama, Food & Nutrition. Yes, these subjects which will be useful to me in future times to come. Something practical & something I don't have to hardcore memorise at least! I can churn out the answers with common sense and being streetsmart.
The next time of changing the norm, I enrolled myself in a Poly instead of going to a JC. I thank god for Polys. I'm doing part of what I like now. & I can't imagine myself studying for A levels. O levels was already a horror. Having said that, besides the mugging for JCs, I would really like to experience JC culture student-life through! Why my year is the year that the government change '1st 3mths trial rule? hmpf!'. I like the JC culture, I guess I would be able to adapt. Through I wouldn't be the current 'ME' (My life would be so different if I didn't choose this route...) but I think JC is a cool place. You know how they say JC romance, JC stories, CCA. Whoa! If I had the 1st 3mths, I would choose either SAJC or ACJC, my dream JCs. I think the guys in those JC are sorta my cup of tea - Charming & guys with a drive in life. Don't like slack guys especially for boyfriend material...
The next time of changing the norm, I enrolled myself in a Poly instead of going to a JC. I thank god for Polys. I'm doing part of what I like now. & I can't imagine myself studying for A levels. O levels was already a horror. Having said that, besides the mugging for JCs, I would really like to experience JC culture student-life through! Why my year is the year that the government change '1st 3mths trial rule? hmpf!'. I like the JC culture, I guess I would be able to adapt. Through I wouldn't be the current 'ME' (My life would be so different if I didn't choose this route...) but I think JC is a cool place. You know how they say JC romance, JC stories, CCA. Whoa! If I had the 1st 3mths, I would choose either SAJC or ACJC, my dream JCs. I think the guys in those JC are sorta my cup of tea - Charming & guys with a drive in life. Don't like slack guys especially for boyfriend material...
Alrights, so now back to the main topic? What should I do once I graduate?
I'll probably enrol myself in business or law school, then I'll set off & travel to as many places I can first before heading back to the University to study for the next 3-5years. Reality hits hard - This is Singapore, my dears. We need a certificate to survive in this world. Competition is tough. Face it! Hopefully, my GPA maintains & I'm able to pass the University interviews/tests *keeping my fingers crossed* I'll treat it well, because like what my dad always tells me, you don't have to do well in the Uni, but it's really a place where you meet new faces. Yes, I totally agree. Every school you enter, you need to do well to be able to advance to another level of school of your choice. But after Uni, what? Nothing. You enter the working world. It's who you know VS what you know world. Both are important through.
So now the question is what course should I take? Back to basics of Business?
Guess I'll take something which I would define to be my career when I graduate.
I'll probably enrol myself in business or law school, then I'll set off & travel to as many places I can first before heading back to the University to study for the next 3-5years. Reality hits hard - This is Singapore, my dears. We need a certificate to survive in this world. Competition is tough. Face it! Hopefully, my GPA maintains & I'm able to pass the University interviews/tests *keeping my fingers crossed* I'll treat it well, because like what my dad always tells me, you don't have to do well in the Uni, but it's really a place where you meet new faces. Yes, I totally agree. Every school you enter, you need to do well to be able to advance to another level of school of your choice. But after Uni, what? Nothing. You enter the working world. It's who you know VS what you know world. Both are important through.
So now the question is what course should I take? Back to basics of Business?
Guess I'll take something which I would define to be my career when I graduate.
*Oh yes, I can never really understand those people who's diploma or degree defers 360degrees from what they are doing now!* What were they thinking man? I ever questioned some of them. Their answers vary from 'Oh young ma, don't know what to take so anyhow choose lor' to 'Opportunities knock on your door, you would take them as it is'. Perhaps the latter is more convincing. haha!
Since young, I already know what type of careers I wanted. Maybe from the influences of TV, I wanted to be an actress. Then I reckon it's a tough industry to break into plus my mother didn't bring me to auditions for kids' show and I turned out to be so petite, so that dream ain't realistic anymore. Since I still like the media industry, so, I decided I would be a radio DJ personality. Well, it could come true, but the passion for it ain't that strong, or else I would have chosen Mass Comm for my diploma already. We'll KIV this and see...
Since young, I already know what type of careers I wanted. Maybe from the influences of TV, I wanted to be an actress. Then I reckon it's a tough industry to break into plus my mother didn't bring me to auditions for kids' show and I turned out to be so petite, so that dream ain't realistic anymore. Since I still like the media industry, so, I decided I would be a radio DJ personality. Well, it could come true, but the passion for it ain't that strong, or else I would have chosen Mass Comm for my diploma already. We'll KIV this and see...
At the same time,
I wanted to be a preschool teacher because I love kids.
I wanted to be a lawyer because I have the gift or the gap, I can convince someone to give me something I want.
I wanted to be a lawyer because I have the gift or the gap, I can convince someone to give me something I want.
I was in debate club and I enjoy fighting for my rights, it's the sense of achievement. Especially, by saying it you are able to unveil the 'dirty ugly side' of someone, woah, I like!
I wanted to be a counselor because I used to read 'Auntie Aggie' on the papers, sorta developed my EQ skills from there as well(?) & I found that I could and I enjoyed replying to those letters. I would cover up her replies and try to reply first then reveal her answers and it was about the same! I like helping those people out there, cause can you imagine, they were like me, a teenager. Why do they have so much drama in life? Well, here's the irony. Normally they say you have to be 'been' in their situation so you can help them better. I agree! But, I think I can do a good job if given a shot at it too.
I don't know.
& so, since being an actress and radio DJ personality seems like a tough dream to fulfill, because let's face it. How many of them are there in Singapore? & to backtrack well, there's already training to be like them, but HOW many actually succeed and take that seat? & even if you manage to take that seat, HOW many become successful? Count.
SO somehow or rather, I thought it through before, guess it was the time before I choose my diploma choice. To still be in the media industry yet for a more realistic profession, I was introduced to this thing called 'Marketing & Public Relations Officer'. Yes, that's it, I thought. I would do Corporate Communication. I get to plan events, attend events, talk, network and all sorts. My favourite thing to do. Dream come true. Cause it's like a combination of everything above. Thus, right now, that's my diploma major. I am happy, well, I should be. I suffered & thankgod, survived my 1st year JUST FOR THIS MAJOR. I'm doing Corporate Communications & Tourism FYI. However, to my utmost horror, one of my 1st assignments was to interview this officer at Rainbow Centre. I love interviews, I thought, & happily went there. It isn't the interview I'm talking about, but it's the PR GUY I'm talking about. Before the interview we had some time & he talked to us and told us about 'Being a PR'. Mygod, I don't know if I should be glad I heard from him or not, but after walking out of that room, I told myself 'I DON'T WANT TO BE A PR consultant already!' It's not at glamorous as you think of it to be. There's a lot of background work to be done (yes, no wonder... that explains my huge workload and projects), you have to be very meticulous, and portray a good image of the company. That's not all. You do all the background work, and your boss or company gets the glory. Yet, anything goes wrong like people complain the interview not good or your boss don't look good on the papers, you get all the shit! :/ That isn't the life I want to lead. Not about the complains part, but more like why should I spent so much time getting something or someone ready and in the end, get nothing except my pay. Pay is important, but I guess I may not have the 100% sense of satisfaction.
& so, what's next? How about running my own Business?
It's my dream to set up a PINK CUTE THEMED PALOUR selling yogurt or bread!
I love variety! I love the flexibility of choice!
It's my dream to set up a PINK CUTE THEMED PALOUR selling yogurt or bread!
I love variety! I love the flexibility of choice!
If only it was so easy... like some computer game whereby you can set up whatever & whereever & whenever you want... Running your own business ain't A-B-C nor 1-2-3. I can manage it and all, but how about the finances, resources, woah, big headache! Yes, can outsource, but who? Even if you find someone, how you know if you can trust that person? I don't know.
Every possibility here seems very much comes to a pessimistic end. Okay, hello! I'm not being a pessimistic person. I'm very optimistic actually, this is what I call realistic not pessimistic okay!
Okay so now what? I kinda found my dream job (for now) if it's possible!
It's called,
It's called,
blog·ger n.
a person who keeps and updates a blog
That's the simple defination. WOW! Making that into a professional career?
Then here's the simple irony,
Blogger: "Term used to describe anyone with enough time or narcissism to document every tedious bit of minutia filling their uneventful lives. Possibly the most annoying thing about bloggers is the sense of self-importance they get after even the most modest of publicity. Sometimes it takes as little as a referral on a more popular blogger's website to set the lesser blogger's ego into orbit"
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The career 'blogger' never occurred in my dictionary of career lists. I mean, what in the world job is that? Wait, in the first place, is being a blogger even considered a job? Yeah. I was young then, I blogged since Pri 5. because my bestfriend created a blog for me. But all along, I wrote just for fun about my daily life but most importantly, cause I was fascinated by the pretty layouts offered at blogskins.com (: Right now, my blog still serves the same purpose only that I wanted it to be more organised considering I'm attending events and shoots frequently. It's a way to market yourself online, isn't it? For me, it is, and I'm not afraid to tell you that. Hello! What's wrong?(:
Why I think I can be a blogger?
As much as I'm amused, NO, I'm not your typical blogger in the arena who puts on fake eyelashes, thick makeup, use F*words in my posts, photoshop pictures to the max (Err.Actually is cause I don't know how to use la!)...
I just love taking pictures. Give me a prop(or even no prop) I can churn out 50pictures in 5mins for you, I think! I can think of all sorts of poses. But, I got standard! Too act cute, cannot epic fail max! :/ HAHA!
2. I think I can write well INFORMALLY.
Okay, at least under the category of 'blogs' not corporate formal letter. I think I have very mature thoughts that I can pen down here & I hope they can voice your thoughts for my readers as well. Sorta like an inspiration, I hope.
Okay, at least under the category of 'blogs' not corporate formal letter. I think I have very mature thoughts that I can pen down here & I hope they can voice your thoughts for my readers as well. Sorta like an inspiration, I hope.
3. My life is quite interesting.
If you know me, I'm not exactly the free-ish person on earth. I have record breaking schedules rushing from 5-6 places each day. BUSY-BEE GIRL! 'Catch me if you can idea!'... Cause I like to make time for people despite my hectic timetable, that's why... it gets even more hectic. Maybe that's why I get so much thoughts also, you know... when I finally have a personal 'ME' time then I suddenly have so much of them flowing into my head, that makes me want to post, so I can read back next time as maybe, serve as a motivation to go on...
Well that's the irony as well, cause for now, I have lesser time to update this blog.
If you know me, I'm not exactly the free-ish person on earth. I have record breaking schedules rushing from 5-6 places each day. BUSY-BEE GIRL! 'Catch me if you can idea!'... Cause I like to make time for people despite my hectic timetable, that's why... it gets even more hectic. Maybe that's why I get so much thoughts also, you know... when I finally have a personal 'ME' time then I suddenly have so much of them flowing into my head, that makes me want to post, so I can read back next time as maybe, serve as a motivation to go on...
Well that's the irony as well, cause for now, I have lesser time to update this blog.
4. I have a unique identity & personality.
My Flower, sorta. More than that, I don't like people who copy others, thus, I won't as well. I believe in being unique and people who copy others are pure saddist, they should lead their own lives, and not live in the shadows of people. I guess I'm pretty much a personality because when I go out, I feel different from the rest. In a good way, heh!
My Flower, sorta. More than that, I don't like people who copy others, thus, I won't as well. I believe in being unique and people who copy others are pure saddist, they should lead their own lives, and not live in the shadows of people. I guess I'm pretty much a personality because when I go out, I feel different from the rest. In a good way, heh!
5. I love shopping & I love travelling.
Call me shopping queen. That basically sums it up. & yes, I'm quite a budget barbie at times, maybe cause I travel much and I learnt that getting the pieces from overseas are much cheaper. So when I'm back in Singapore, I feel so cheated! I'd rather travel lor. Save the money (the excess if you buy the same piece overseas instead of here) -> Use it for airtickets, can see the country, get out of Singapore at the same time! Isn't that good?
And, I mean whyth do you want to shop at top brands when you get the exact same pieces at places like Bugis Street, CityPlaza? But of course, sometimes, I indulge in certain brands, and also, for special occasions (like Birthdays & CNY & X'mas) & for things like Wallet, Shoes and Jeans (things that last), I am willing to invest.
Travelling wise, I have a list of places I want to go to! Places like Paris, London, New York, Hawaii, Bali...
Travelling wise, I have a list of places I want to go to! Places like Paris, London, New York, Hawaii, Bali...
I believe every experience overseas gives me a whole new perspective especially when I'm back in Singapore. When I am in that country, I like looking out at the balcony and unconsciously think 'Wow, actually the whole is very big after all'...
I love going to shop in BANGKOK, CHINA, HONGKONG & KOREA.
I even know which items get from which country is cheaper! muahaha!
My Favourite brands:
Cotton On, Diva, New Look, Forever 21, Charles & Keith etc
I even know which items get from which country is cheaper! muahaha!
My Favourite brands:
Cotton On, Diva, New Look, Forever 21, Charles & Keith etc
6. I enjoy the freedom of speech.
I like to be able to write whatever I think and 'scold' whoever I like... if I think I'm right.
7. I am a bimbo with brains sometimes.
I like to be able to write whatever I think and 'scold' whoever I like... if I think I'm right.
7. I am a bimbo with brains sometimes.
I have both the crazy and serious sides.
Sometimes I feel that I have another twin living in me... or I suffer from split personality.
Sometimes I feel that I have another twin living in me... or I suffer from split personality.
*See me at events, see my at projects. You will understand what I mean.*
8. I can a true-blue romance.
Read my entries & you'll know. Maybe this is why I'm single now. Because I'm the sort that 'If I think he's not the best type for me, I won't get into a relationship. But once I find him, I'm very into it & am a true-blue romantic girl'. It's like double or nothing... Lucky guy, find me please! (;
9. I am the craziest person you can find.
Who would wear rabbit ears to CNY Visiting this year?
Yours truly.
Yours truly.
10. Lastly, I love GOD.
Read my entries & you'll know. GOD is the centre of my life!
So the point is, where do I go from here?
May GOD be with me. Show me the way. I trust you.
May GOD be with me. Show me the way. I trust you.
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